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  Miss Mary Pennynickle’s

  Tales of Torment for Toddlers

  The Three Lost Bunnies

  By Miss Mary Pennynickle

  Once there were three little bunnies who got lost in the woods. Their names were Pinky, Winky, and Blinky.

  Pinky was very hungry, Winky was very thirsty, and Blinky was very cold.

  They came upon a deer in the forest. “Please, Mrs. Deer. We’re lost in the woods. Do you have any food?” asked Pinky. “Do you have anything to drink?” asked Winky. “Do you have anything warm to wear?” asked Blinky.

  Mrs. Deer said, “No, but the bear in the darker part of the forest might be able to help.” She ran away into the forest.

  The three little bunnies hopped further into the forest. It was getting darker and Pinky was getting hungrier, Winky was getting thirstier, and Blinky was getting colder. They were all becoming afraid. Pinky was very hungry, Winky was very thirsty, and Blinky was very cold.

  The three little bunnies came across the bear. He was sleeping. “Please, Mr. Bear. We’re lost in the woods. Do you have any food?” asked Pinky. “Do you have anything to drink?” asked Winky. “Do you have anything warm to wear?” asked Blinky.

  “No,” roared the bear. “There is a cottage in the darker part of the forest. An old woman lives there. Maybe she can help you.” The bear went back to sleep.

  The three little bunnies hopped further into the forest. It was getting darker and Pinky was getting hungrier, Winky was getting thirstier, and Blinky was getting colder. They were all becoming more afraid.

  The three little bunnies finally found the cottage in the forest. This was the darkest part of the forest. They were very afraid but Pinky was very hungry, Winky was very thirsty, and Blinky was very cold.

  They knocked on the door of the cottage. Slowly, the door opened. They could only see darkness in the doorway. The voice of the old woman came from inside and said, “Come inside. The forest creatures told me you were coming,” she cackled. “There’s plenty of food to eat, lots of apple juice to drink, and a nice warm fire in my stove.”

  The three little bunnies were scared to hop into the cottage, but they had no choice because Pinky was very hungry, Winky was very thirsty, and Blinky was very cold.

  When they entered the cottage they found it wasn’t scary at all. The old woman seemed very nice. She was true to her word and provided the bunnies with food, juice, and warmth.

  “What brings you this far into the forest where no one can hear you or find you?” asked the old woman.

  “We went exploring and got lost,” said Pinky, his mouth full of food.

  “Oh, that’s terrible,” said the old woman. “Out all this way where no one can hear you or find you.” She smiled and looked at all of the bunnies.

  “Oh, dear!” she laughed, looking around her now empty cabinets and at the dying embers of her fire. “It seems I have nothing to eat or drink. I don’t have my fire to keep me warm.”

  “We’re sorry,” said the three little bunnies. “We were so hungry, thirsty, and cold. Is there anything we can do to help you?”

  “There might be something,” she said. “I was hoping to tend my garden and get more food. I also wanted to go to my well and get more to drink. I needed to get more firewood to keep my cottage warm. Why don’t you spend the night and you can help me in the morning?”

  “We would like to stay the night and help you in the morning. But you have no more food to eat, juice to drink, and fire to keep us warm,” they said. “You are so deep in the forest where no one can hear you or find you.”

  They slowly moved towards the old woman.

  “What do you want?” cried the old woman.

  “I’m still hungry,” said Pinky.

  “I’m still thirsty,” said Winky.

  “And I’m still cold,” said Blinky.

  They set upon the woman and tore her to shreds. All the way out where no one could hear her or find her.

  “That’s better,” said Pinky as he swallowed the ear of the old woman.

  “That’s better,” said Winky as he wiped the blood that he was drinking off of his white fur.

  “I’m still cold,” said Blinky. “What shall I do?” Then he got an idea. He got a knife and peeled away the flesh from the old woman. He wrapped the flesh around his body like a royal robe. “That’s better,” he said.

  The three little bunnies hopped off into the dark forest, no longer hungry, thirsty, or cold.

  THE END

  How Big Boys Poop

  By Miss Mary Pennynickle

  You’ve learned the potty.

  That’s good for you.

  Now it’s time to learn

  To go on the loo.

  You look up at the bowl.

  It looks so large.

  But now you’ve got to show

  Who is in charge.

  You climb the stool

  And sit on the seat.

  It’s very shiny

  And looks very neat.

  You’re king of the world,

  A very big boy.

  Time to go on your own

  And bring mommy joy.

  She closes the door.

  You know she’s outside.

  It’s okay to go now.

  There’s nothing to hide.

  You wriggle and squirm,

  You let out a sigh.

  But from inside the bowl

  Comes a very loud cry.

  You think it’s nothing,

  Something to ignore,

  When you quickly hear

  Your mom locks the door.

  The cry gets closer

  To you from below.

  The fear that you feel

  Is starting to grow.

  You call for your mommy.

  She yells “You have to go on your own.”

  Something reaches up from the bowl.

  You’re not alone.

  You look down in the toilet

  And up crawl some tentacles.

  They shoot up through your butt

  And grab your heart’s ventricles.

  They squeeze your heart.

  You sound like a flute.

  They pop on your lungs.

  They make your butt toot.

  Your mind is racing.

  Something’s not right.

  Then they pop out of your body

  And slide down out of sight.

  You jump off of the toilet

  And crawl onto the floor

  You’ve now decided

  To poop nevermore

  The lesson for mothers:

  Be more attentive.

  This is the way

  To make an anal retentive.

  The End

  Tommy’s Day at the Fair

  By Mary Pennynickle

  It was a very bright day

  On a Saturday dawn

  Tommy woke up early

  And let out a yawn

  He jumped out of bed

  He combed his hair

  Today was the day

  He’d go to the fair

  He rushed to the car

  His parents in tow

  “Hurry up, mom”

  He wanted to go.

  When they got to the fair

  Tommy was filled with delight

  He would spend the whole day

  From morning ‘till night

  He looked at the rides

  He watched all the games

  “Can I have some money?”

  He begged with no shame

  “Be careful,” they said

  As Tommy to
ok flight

  He ran fast as he could

  With all of his might

  He wanted food

  He thought it was dandy

  Tommy took out his change

  And bought cotton candy

  He watched all the lights

  His ears full of sound

  He saw his favorite

  The Merry-go-round

  He paid his money

  And jumped on a horse

  He kicked so hard

  With very great force

  The ride went faster

  He wore a big smile

  He hope the ride

  Would last a long while

  The ride stopped soon

  He became sad

  He fell off the horse

  Now he was mad

  He kicked at the steed

  A very strong hit

  He looked in its eyes

  And threw out some spit

  He walked towards the midway

  His head full of rage

  He passed a toy monkey

  Stuck in a cage

  He felt very bad now

  About his poor reaction

  He started to walk

  But got just a fraction

  He heard people scream

  “Oh, God!! What is that?”

  The very toy horse

  Upon which he had sat

  Its eyes full of fury

  His breath filled with fire

  He charged towards Tommy

  The boy of his ire

  People jumped out of the way

  They ran right and left

  Even those filled with fear

  Can be very deft

  The horse still came running

  He was closing the range

  Tommy saw small razors

  Stuck in its mange

  He saw his friend Lucy

  And yelled “Lucy, come here!”

  She ran to her friend

  He pulled her near

  He held her out to the horse

  And said, “Take my friend Lucy!”

  The horse bit off her head

  Her blood very juicy

  He fell to the ground

  He let out an ‘oof’

  He felt his head crack

  By a very large hoof

  The fairgrounds were cleared

  By the very scared mob

  The horse didn’t care

  He was doing his job

  The horse slowly clopped off

  He went to his ride

  He felt very queasy

  From Lucy’s head still inside

  Tommy’s parents cried

  To this day they still grieve

  The tale of the horse

  Is still hard to believe

  So when you go to the fair

  Enjoy your laughing and yellin’

  But be nice to the rides

  Or they’ll split your head like a melon.

  The End

  A Day at the Beach

  By Miss Mary Pennynickle

  On a bright sunny day

  A light wind in the air

  Suzie went to the beach

  With nary a care

  Her nanny set the blanket

  To rest in the sand

  She told Suzie to play

  On a day that was grand

  Suzie ran up the beach

  She ran up the shore

  She ran backwards and forwards

  Her feet getting sore

  She went back to the nanny

  She grumbled and griped

  “What’s the matter?” said nanny

  And fixed her suit that was striped

  “I’ve run up and down

  There’s nothing to do

  I want to go home

  Or I’ll stay here with you.”

  The nanny was resting

  Her only day off

  Suzie got on her nerves

  Nanny let out a cough

  Nanny got an idea

  To get rid of this brat

  “Go play in that cave.”

  “But I might see a bat!”

  Nanny convinced her to leave

  Perhaps to explore

  A grand adventure for Suzie

  Safety she would ignore

  Suzie ran to the cave

  She ran right inside

  She went further and further

  In this cave that was wide

  It smelled very funny

  Of rotten old eggs

  She turned to leave

  But the floor grabbed her legs

  She screamed and she screamed

  But no one came near

  The cave got very dark

  Her heart filled with fear

  She could hear scuffling noises

  From the cave down below

  Her terror was growing

  Still, she yelled out “Hello?”

  The noise was still coming

  She was nervous a waitin’

  When out from the darkness

  Came the evil called Satan.

  “Why come to this cave

  All alone on the beach?”

  “My nanny, she brought me.”

  “I have a lesson to teach.”

  He told her of evil

  And showed terrible sights

  Of horrors so bad

  It would keep her up nights

  She begged and she pleaded

  To go back to her nanny

  He let her go from the rock

  And patted her fanny

  She started to run

  He let out a laugh

  “Next time you’d better

  Be nice to the staff!!”

  He went in the darkness

  She ran to the light

  She went back to the nanny

  She was a wonderful sight

  The nanny looked up

  She looked rather bored

  She asked “What did you learn

  From my evil dark lord?”

  Suzie let out a gasp

  She could believe

  Her stomach it churned

  She started to heave

  “What lesson you learned?

  What did he teach?”

  Asked Suzie’s nanny

  “I picked this beach”

  “I know where he lives

  To find the dark Gates of Hell

  If you whine ever again

  You’ll become an empty dark shell.”

  Suzie swallowed her bile

  Her eyes very wide

  Nanny let out a laugh

  “That’s right, I’m his bride.”

  She pointed to Suzie

  “Now grab up your things.”

  The nanny walked on ahead

  Suzie saw her black wings

  The moral I’m teaching

  The lesson you’ll learn

  If you act up again

  In Hell you will burn

  Your soul will be torn

  From your body at night

  So be nice to the help

  Goodbye. Nighty night.

 

 

  James DeSalvo, Miss Mary Pennynickle's Tales of Torment for Toddlers

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